Tender caresses, hungry kisses, and two chiseled male bodies. Yikes! Talk about a cold opening…. it felt more like a late night soft-core Cinemax movie than HBO’s True Blood.  I shivered (and not with anticipation) as the bad porn parody unfolded.

Romance (or is this bromance?) was in the air, or at least in Jason Stackhouse’s imagination. What an explicit daydream! And to have it in church of all places. But what bothers me most is the way his sexuality is toyed with. Is he or isn’t he? Are the writers looking to “out” him in the final season? Or are they making a point that even hetero men are secretly bi? It would disappoint legions of his female fans, but probably excite many more of both genders. Though for the sake of the show I hope this doesn’t become an ongoing story thread.

I get it he drank Eric’s blood and now they are forever bonded yadda, yadda, yadda. But that doesn’t mean he has to have sex fantasies. Geez. Adilyn isn’t having sex fantasies about Jessica. Though if she does I’m sure plenty would happily tune in. Now that she’s eighteen the chance of a steamy encounter has multiplied. Now back to Eric, I don’t want to see him bounce from brother to sister like that. It’s too awkward. In the romance department he’s Sookie leftovers. I’d rather see him back with Pam. They were one of my favorite dynamic duos anyway.

Not quite her flourishing bitchy self, Pam still has that lost puppy look. Her quest to find Eric is the only thing driving her forward these days. She was once a pillar of female empowerment, but is now reduced to finding her worth in a man. Though another way of looking at it is that she is tracking down the love of her life. And it’s her iron will that propels her. Once she finds this man she holds so dear, her mission will end – then what? I’ve always appreciated Pam’s feisty side and hope the writers bring it back for the final season.

Once again Lafayette is the voice of the audience. It comes through loud and clear in his exchange with Tara’s mother:

“She don’t need no one Auntie. Tara’s dead. She gone home and she’d want you to let her go. Let’s not go down this path again.”

“You turned my Tara into  a vampire and then you don’t let me have a second chance. You’re a selfish no good two face sinner!”

“And you a drug addict, you trifling bitch. Through and through.”

“You’re going to hell.”

“That’s what this is.”

It’s time to let Tara go. She’s died twice now. Let’s not resurrect her spirit and drag this out further. That really would be hell. It’s bad enough her death scene was sub-par, if that’s what it was. Let Tara the vampire rest in peace so that her memory can live on without any lingering annoyances. Please. Let’s hope her mother’s drug induced visions don’t grow into more.

Sookie’s plea to the townspeople may have fallen on deaf ears. The only ones she’s actively helping are the ones that were already on her side, the Sheriff, her brother, Sam, Alcide, etc. In search of their missing friends, Sookie’s helpful bunch explore the neighboring town only to see what the future of Bon Temps looks like. It’s bleak. And it reeks of death.

Determined to outlive yet another horrible circumstance Arlene has become quite the pep talker. Appealing to “the human within” her vamp captors Arlene gets the sympathy she deserves. Unfortunately, the vamp dies before fulfilling her end of the bargain, in a grotesquely hilarious scene that leaves Arlene with vamp goo between her legs. It was one of the show’s finer moments. I hope Sookie and the gang find her soon. I’d hate to see Arlene and Holly die at the hands of infected vamps. But since this is the final season anything goes.

There’s no chemistry between Sookie and Alcide, just stale air. They are mismatched in every way. And what a cliché scene they were forced to play out! Alcide tries to woo her into running away with him, offering to flee, to take her anywhere on his full tank of gas. It was a soap opera moment. And a low point in my humble opinion.

Perhaps True Blood will come full circle in its final season. Let’s bring back the original Bill, the charming one we fell in love with. I think that’s what the flashbacks are driving at. Between that, the angry mob of townspeople and the roving infected vamps, there are still plenty of chances for True Blood to make the most of its final season. Though this episode failed to match the enthusiasm of its predecessor. I remain a hopeful fan.

Aurora Snow Says

Episode Rating:

[Rating:2.5/5]